i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
