I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
