About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize