the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
