this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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