I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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