You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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