i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
