Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
