i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize