people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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