Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
