I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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