11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
