Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dick very happy bro
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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