therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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