Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize