I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
