all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
