And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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