just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
