i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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