I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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