No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
