i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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