So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
