I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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