dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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