Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I understand Curling. That high.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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