So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
