And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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