my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I will pee on everything he values.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize