well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
