I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize