There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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