is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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