Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
