Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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