What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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