Life is so much better after having sex.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
