Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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