shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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