No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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