i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
