i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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