Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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