yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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