Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
