If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
