To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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