Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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