My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
