I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
