battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
