Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Are my feet made of real feet?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize