You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
