Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
