I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
