We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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