u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
