hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
