He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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