How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
