they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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