I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
