Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
