All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
